note to self ; the world is full of peasants.

This morning was horrible. I felt horrible. And ya know how i say i'm always unlucky ?
I needed to get some money out this morning so we stopped off at shell garage for the cash machine and before i got out of the car, i said to Annis and my mum 'i bet its fucking out of order' walked over to it ... 'Sorry, this machine is temporarily out of service.'

My day got worse from here, well, i say day, the afternoon i didn't feel so bad.
I got into college and we basically just started doing our 'shapes' project, cept all i wanted was to be alone. i didn't really want to have to talk to anyone, or pretend to be okay and smile. (Another bad night last night, guess it carried on into the morning.) In fact, i gave up trying to be okay, i guess at the moment, i tend to get sick of pretending. I probably pissed everyone else off by being in a mood but oh well.
Think they've decided we're going to do something near valentines day - i hope it happens, because im dreading being alone that weekend.
Mon even asked what was wrong with me today. lol.
And then when i was with Hannah (tutor), she was like - are you okay ? you don't seem okay ? So i almost broke down and cried in the store cupboard, which would've been a barrel of laughs.
The afternoon wasn't too bad, everyone in the mac room cheered me up a bit when they were messing about with this computerized voice on the macs that said whatever you typed. So we had a Stephen Hawkins voice saying things like 'Matt is a Douche'. Plus, i think that when i concentrate on my work it calms me a little. So by the end of the day i was feeling okay.
Oh also, i had my tarot cards read by Angela. The only one that i remember was the card that i picked out that was meant to represent what i'm supposed to overcome, and guess what the card meant ? ... loneliness. Even my Tarot Cards know that i am lonely. How fucking lame.

I need to sort myself out.

I'm working 12 til 6 tomorrow now because Ana called in sick, who was supposed to be covering for Rach because Rach was supposed to cover for Ana last sunday. Which i ended up doing. And now im ending up covering for both of them tomorrow too. Oh well, more money.
Think tomorrow night im going over Dannys, not to spend time with him of course, nah he doesnt have time for me anymore. But to drink wine with his mum whilst watching casualty. Ah well, i haven't been out in weeks, so i guess that's something.

Nathan wanted to be mentioned in this. He likes bums I love you. :)

Why am i watching the news ?