note to self ; your room is still a mess. you pig.

Firstly i cannot stop listening to this

i just think its soooo good ! haha.

and secondly ? well actually there is now secondly, today turned out to be a typical monday. boring, annoying, and just horrible. I had a headache all day, college was cold. and then work just pissed me off.

however i did get some well cute headphones :)

thats about it. Good mood is still present, i hope it hangs around a while. Because when it doesn't i really struggle

:) laters potatoes.

note to self ; your room is a f state.

I think i've just had the best last few days that i've had in a long while !
So i finished my last blog talking about wednesday ?
Okay rewiiiiiiind ;)

Thursday - was the street fair ! which i thought was going to be a a load of crap, but it ended up being sooo good. Annis came over at like half 6 with half a bottle of vodka so we had fun drinking that whilst i got ready. We then headed out to meet Hayley and Lauren which ended up with me receiving a text from Hayley saying they were going to be late, so whilst we waited we got bought another bottle of vodka hahha. We're such alcoholics ;) but we feel as though we should be making the most out of Annis being 18 as we pretty much failed at it for the first few weeks. So me and Annis we're lets say pretty drunk. After we'd met H&L we went on the ferris wheel, the mad max ... which i might add has changed its name to 'energizer' HOW GAY. haha. we also bumped into Danny and the boys, and i agreed to go out with them the next night. we also saw terry (haha) which ended up with me pinching his bum and him chasing me up the road to pinch mine. No communication was needed ;)
We ended up all getting bloody cold and deciding to go home. Me and Annis found a really uncomfortable fence to sit on and were just chatting, when some guys in there car pulled up next to us and were talking to us for like half an hour, one named himself 'crazy pete' and the other was either called jack, or gary. And all 'crazy pete' kept saying was - are you feeling it? and then before they left he pointed to me, and goes - i want that one, shes feeling it. it was soooo funny !
And that was the end of Thursday.

Friday - I woke up feeling better that i thought, all i was craving was lemonade as i always do after a night of drinking haha. Me and Annis got the bus into Oxford where we met everyone else to go visit some museums and art exhibitions. The only good one was the steam punk one. I was really bored of everything else. We got lunch and i bought a scarf and some slipper boot things because i was freeeezing ! , and then after the rest of the museum looking we stayed in town and did some shopping. Me, Annis and India ended up sat in cafe nero, and then eventually we went home. When i got home i got ready to meet Danny and the boys, and we went to his Dads who has sorted out the shed at the bottom of his garden and made a cosy mini house for Danny and all his mates, with sofas and music and a computer, i was impressed. It was there that we all started getting very drunk. Danny had invited this girl called Juliet who was really nice but she had to be picked up at 11, so then it was just me and a load of boys haha. Me and Nick decided to forget about all that had happened a few months ago, and now we've decided to be 'friends' aha, which is good. It was all pretty mental, but i cant discuss it in a blog which you all read ;) haha. After saying i'd only stay out for a few hours and that i wouldn't drink, i got home at 2 an extremely drunk person. I should really just full on quit saying things, because i never ever do what i say im gunna do. haha.
So yeah friday night was wicked :) I'd missed hanging out with them all. Even though Sam annoys the hell out of me, it was worth putting up with him to spend an evening with the others :)

Saturday - I had work, i felt hungover, but not too badly, my legs were hurting due to being so cold the night before, my body is weird, but i also hurt really badly when i get too cold. And so i was in pain for pretty much the whole shift. I got home had about an hour and half sit down before i started getting ready to go out again :). This time to frankie and bennys with Louise, Maria and Rach from work. There was meant to be 10 of us, but everyone else was gay and bailed. It was a lot of fun though, after a lot of christmas cracker pulling, two pitchers of cosmopolitan and woo woo, and a lot of food later. We were ready to head home. But throughout the night, we and Rach didn't stop laughing. When i got dropped off i went in said a quick 'yo. hey. yeah im good. it was good' to my family, i went back out and off round Annis'. I GOT SOAKED. some bastard in a car went through a huge puddle and covered me in water plus it was pissing it down. I got there feeling like a drowned rat. Spent like 2 hours at hers, chatting about my last 24 hours and drinking tea. Eventually though i got way tooo tired and wandered back home.

And so its now 2 oclock on a sunday afternoon, i've been awake for half an hour, i think im going to go make some brunch and then make a start on tidying my room :( I wish the weekend would just go on for longer, because its seriously been such a good one. I've had so much fun :) and its put me in such a good mood ! :) haha. Byeeeeee

note to self ; this week has been pretty good.

It feels like i haven't written a blog in a loong time ! but its only been a few days ! The longest but funniest few days i've had in a long while.

Im currently waiting on Danny to ring me and then come get me, and so im going to take this opportunity to write a quick blog updating you on my life, seeing as im pretty sure i wont get on here until sunday.

Wednesday, after our original plans on going to the pub for pub quiz were burned into the ground, me and Annis wandered up to blockbusters and rented 'the boat that rocked' which is such a feel good movie, and got me laughing.

IM GOING OUT

this will be continued sunday haha

note to self ; ha suuure.

being let down pisses me off.
thank god i have Annis Kate in my life.

note to self ; tidy my room.

IM GOING TO NOTCUTTS TOMORROW !

and you know why ?

because all the christmas stuff will be up, and i LOVE it. haha. so im forcing my mum to take me over there just so that we can have a look around.

Today college was alriight, the project was boring, but it was fun as pure usual being with everyone. AND AND AND i got a 'good' from lesley on my personal statement and she said i can just rewrite it correcting the mistakes and then im good to go. WICKED.

haha.

came home for 4, and got my madre to dye my hair, goodbye roots, hello nice hair. and also a hello to a stained forehead :) my mum was like, i'll be really careful not to get it on your skin... Emily comes up to me and goes 'why do you have it all over your face' umm yeah THANKS MUM. haha :)

After dinner we had family games on the wii, haha it was fun :) Im so crap at it though ! But i've come to the conclusion that the wii is something to cure boredom :)

I came on here thinking i'd have more to write about, but thats really all i have to update you on haha ! Im in such a good mood :)

I hope you're okay

note to self ; you're going to be okay.

So recently i haven't really felt that good.

My eczema's really been getting me down, its all over my face, and it doesn't seem to be going away :( Which is horrible because its making me so self conscious and i feel hideous.

I've also felt pretty lonely recently, and that is never a good feeling. And so i've basically spent the past week feeling sorry for myself.

I had such a horrible down today as well, up until this evening.

College was okay, but then i had work, and i found myself getting so angry and upset. The amount of times that something fell off of a peg when i was putting the delivery out and i actually wanted to just pull it all down and wreck the whole shop. But instead, when i was putting the empty boxes out the back, i let my anger out by jumping and kicking them. I sound really insane. Bad times. But it happened.

I also got really bugged about the fact i got out at 6.30 ¬.¬ all because Maria didn't feel like going home yet. She kept finding little things that 'had to be done' before we could leave. Which as you can tell really didn't help my mood at all !

I bought more christmas presents today though, and i also bought myself a hair clip and a ring which i love :)

Anyway, lets skip the rest up until the part where i get in a good mood :) .. I spent the past 3 hours sat at my dining room table with my brother, my stepdad and my mum and we were just sat chatting about anything and eating yummy food :) So that made me in a better mood haha.

Im looking forward to this week.

Pub quiz, oxford friday, bowling&frankieandbennies saturday :)

It'll be fun. I'll be poor once again, but its all for a good cause ;)

Night

note to self; do some work ? nah.

So i went to see New Moon last night. And i loved it, infact no. I fell in love with it ! haha.

and i've decided 2 things -

1) Im in love with two fictional characters

and 2) I really really really really want to fall in love like they do in the film :(

but i wonder if there is even such thing. Because after all, it was acting.

I hope there is. But still.

I've also become aware on how much i rely on romance in films and in books, and im starting to think that maybe it isn't good for me haha. But nevermind.

The weather is horrible today, and im not really in the mood to do anything. I was thinking of attempting to do some work but quickly cancelled out that thought from my mind. I tidied my room up a bit, and thats really all you should expect from me today, because im not doing anything else. Im just going to sit on my bed and watch various things on the iplayers. And probably have more thoughts and wish for things that are way out of reach. Have a good Sunday guys.

note to self ; you should probably have a tidy up of your room, and stop eating toffifee's

So i blame my horrible mood on tiredness.
Yesterday i felt awful.
i went to bed at half 8 last night and got up at quarter to 9. I feel refreshed, and in a slight better mood. Also, the fact that im going to see New Moon tonight is just making so excited and happy :) haha. Not too happy, because its raining today, but still, tonight will be so good. Edward Cullen + Jacob Blacks Body = WIIIIIN ;)

I've just gone to get a glass of squash to find that we have no squash, bad times ! I also cannot stop eating 'toffifee' They're amazing and im obsessed haha !
My nan sent me a box over like last christmas and i loved them, and the yesterday i found some in the 99p store ! I was sooo happy haha Howev i've already eaten over a box and a half of them. Im going to be obese :)



You should ALL go and get some :)

On another note the eczema on my face doesn't seem to be getting any better, but then maybe i shouldn't of really expected it to go away in one night of using the e45 stuff. But damn i hate it :(

NEW MOON LATER ! ;D

note to self ; blog continued

i constantly feel as though nothing good ever comes out of the things i do.

note to self ; nothing to say.

Today im stressed out. Worried. Upset and pissed off all rolled into one.
I could really do with someone to have a chat with, to keep me company.

Im really worried about university. Like, everyone around me in other schools seem to have applied, and i still dont even know where i want to go. And i'm worried that the im going to end up choosing the wrong one to go to. And what if i don't even get in ? On top of this constant worry. I've got so much work to do, and im just absolutely shattered and so dont really want to do anything. As well as this, my eczema is hurting so much and i think its slowly getting in my eyes. I bought some e45 cream today and shampoo and shower gel. I bet it doesn't help. I'm also starting to hate winter, winter is always the season that i feel more lonely, its horrible.

Somebody come pick me up and take me somewhere away from my stressful life :(

Oh and today i was eating half a prawn sandwich and there was a piece of dead fish in it. It was rank !
My mum bought me a well lush cardi today, but i cant have it until christmas :( damn it. haha. I love and hate that at the same time, I love that i've got it, but hate that i cant be wearing it right now haha.
Im gunna carry on watching the inbetweeners now. bye.

note to self ; buy some eczema cream tomorrow.

Its official, my room is back to being a mess, but it was over a week that i managed to keep it tidy for. Which i think is such an accomplishment.

Okay, so its 19:57, and i swear this is not a lie, but, i haven't sat down since tuesday night. And this is because of this ...

Wednesday morning I left my house to walk to Annis' at 20 to 8, i almost got blown away with the gail force winds that i was attacked by as i tried to get there. We got a lift into college and got on the coach which would be leaving to take us to the ucas fair at half 8. Now, note, that for the past week we had been told to get there dead on half 8 any later and we'd be left behind. And so me and Annis had to get a lift instead of getting the bus at 7 in the morning :| However this was all a bunch of lies, the coach left college at 9. So instead of bugging people for lifts we could've just gotten the bus ! But anyway enough moaning ;) We set off comfy as we were on the coach and off we travelled to London. BRUM BRUM! haha!

Tbh, i dont really have much to write about the ucas fair, i was proper disappointed and thought it was a waste of time haha. The guy from Winchester didn't answer my question properly, Falmouth just told me what i'd already read in the prospectus, Northampton however we're quite good, plus the guy who spoke to me was proper good looking. Win. haha. But Northampton is the best one so far. Even though i'd love to go to Falmouth because it means i'd be by the beach, im sure i'll find out what its like at the open day in January. (Must book that)

I started getting a bit irritable after a while, my skin was driving me crazy and i just wanted to go home. BUT, we were dragged to the Tate. Which actually turned out to make me in a better mood. I really enjoyed looking at all the art, some of it i'd actually studied at gsce. mental. The bus journey home was good, we got a table seat, and i sat with emma, ollie, and an extremely hot guy called archie from the foundation. Hes actually gorgeous ;) I spent most of the journey home cuddling Ollies feet. haha. But it was fiiiine, he let me put mine on him. So we were both nice and comfy :). Do you love that the days not even over ?

We got back to college at around half 6 so me and Annis managed to get the bus back to Didcot for quarter to 8. We came back to mine i quickly got changed we met Mikey and off to the pub we went. We met Lauren, Hayley and Matt there, and then the Pub Quiz began. And can you believe that i got tipsy after having 2 drinks? I have no idea what happened there haha ! But we didn't win any of the rounds haha. We officially suck at pub quiz. But all in all, it was a bloody good night !

Today i was knackered when i got up for college. But i managed to force Annis out of bed with a 'GET UP ANNIS' text. We got to college, and im really enjoying my photography project at the moment its fun. Im turning Annis, Tiff, India, Ollie and everyone into monsters and making a monster book :) The afternoon was a bit of a dose. Everyone went home and it was only me and Tiff that actually turned up in lesson haha. Neil was pissed off. Maurice was pissed off. And they passed it on to our tutors who ima guessing got pissed off. I think everyone thought that the ucas fair the day before was an excuse to not come in today. The fags. But i got my mum to come get me at 4ish. And i came home, ate some food, and then went to work. And so now, im finally sitting down properly accompanied with a box of Cadburys milk tray chocolates some strawberry flavoured squash, and How i Met Your Mother catch up is about to start :)

I can't wait for a relaxing weekend. Ciao.

note to self ; make food for tomorrow :)

Whats crackalackin'

Todays thought - Falmouth? Northampton ? Winchester ? Brighton ?
Universitittyssssss :)
its a little bit exciting !
However, i have no idea which i want to go to, all i know is that i want to go to all of them haha !
Tomorrow, we're going to the Ucas fair, so im armed with questions to ask, im also going to be armed with food and sweets to munch on. haha. Im hoping that it'll be quite a fun day, rather than me just getting tired of walking about. And + Annis just text me saying that her dads fiancee person, is going to give us a lift, which means .... WE DON'T HAVE TO GET THE BUS AT 7 IN THE MORNING haha :)

i love that i've started a blog and i just cannot be assed !
you can just tell how easily distracted i have been today. so, i'll finish this later. maybe.

note to self ; make sure you remember to make food to take on wednesday.

'haha, you look like a drowned rat... without being wet.... So you basically just look like a rat.'

Quote of the day. I also think that it best describes today.

Today i am thoughtful. And i wish for excitment. Please please please please please someone bring me excitement. In any shape or form. I think it would just about do me nicely. Thank you.

note to self ; i've had a great weekend.

I cant remember the last time i actually sat on a sunday and was like - this weekend was sooo fucking good ! but, today i did exactly that.

Yesterday i worked my shift 10-3 which was alright, and at 1 Rach came in, and i was actually crying with laughter from the time she came in, until the time i left at 3. I don't think i've ever had such a fun shift, i was actually quite gutted that it was over when it got to 3 o'clock. i know ? imagine wanting to stay at work ?! i'd describe the things that were so funny, but they were all - 'you had to be there' moments. and so it would be both a waste of your life and mine typing/reading.
At 3 i'd arranged to meet Nath (for the first time i might add) and so i wandered on down to sainsburys, and apparently almost crashed into some guy as i was walking down the steps, as Nath nicely pointed out when i got to him. Because i was completely not looking where i was going. Anyway, we basically spent like 2 hours sat on a bench at a bus stop freezing our arses off. BUT, it was soo much fun haha. Infact, i didn't think it would be as good as it was. I swear i just spent the whole time laughing. And it was odd, because i thought it would be awkward between us, but, it was like we weren't just meeting for the first time then. haha and so it was like non stop chat and being bitches to eachother :) We got wayyy to cold after a while and so decided to go into some shops haha. And so we, well i haha, had fun looking at all the toys in woolalworths. And i wanted to buy so many things for the myself the twins. ;)
It eventually got to half 5 and we said our farewell and i walked up to meet Annis, walking completely the wrong way... i got a phone call from her and it went like this - Me - 'hello?' Annis - 'Jazz, is that you i can see walking off into the distance' I turn around to see a little figure with a red puffy neck (being her scarf) Me - 'ah yes, yes it is.' haha and so i walked back up to her, staying on the phone to her the whole way chatting about my meeting with Nath. It was so odd getting closer to her and still staying on the phone haha. We walked up to blockbusters to use Annis' card for the first tiiiime ;) We rented tormented (which is sooo shit) and role models (which we didnt get to watch). We went back to hers, by this time i hadn't really been in a house since quarter to 10 this morning. Not only was a so cold i thought i was dieing, i'd also forgotten what a house was. haha ;) We went back to hers, started watching tormented, paused, went to cook pizza, watched xfactor downstairs. I LOVE OLLY MURS ! Then we shut kite (her cat) back into the kitchen and went back up stairs to finish watching tormented - it was sooo crap. but it was the sort of crap you could laugh at haha. I then decided to go home, it was cold and dark, and it was like i was the only person alive haha. Until some chavs walked past me singing 'sweet chariot'. I was sooo thankful to finally be home after all day of being out haha. I said 'yo' to my bro and then went to bed, after reading a bit more of twilight I LOVE EDWARD CULLEN! haha. And now, its 12.20 on sunday afternoon, i dont know where my family is, and i have no idea what to do with the rest of the day. It feels good :)

note to self ; post Tracys card.

Okay so basically everything changed today education wise haaa :|
I took all my work in for my review with Hannah (my tutor) to decide what to go into my portfolio and what not to. And so i had all my work laid out onto the tables and as we were walking around i was like :/ not much of its fine arty. And then she kept saying how my style of work is very illustrative. And we finished and she goes - so you're work is more of the fine art side of things (pause from her. Laugh from me) but you know what im going to say. And i was like yeeeah i should be doing illustration. And so we had this big talk on how i would definitely get onto a illustration course with a portfolio like mine, and that illustration was basically fine art but just commercial. And she was saying i was a brilliant drawer and that she afraid that when i went to my interview i'd get confused with the point of fine art. and i was like AHHHHHHHH :| ! I almost started crying it was horrible ! However, im definitely confident that i should be doing illustration, and now, it means i have to re write my personal statement, that all the uni's i visited mean jack and that i have to start from the beginning. Im feeling slightly like - shit i've got so much to do in such little time. Its mental.

So that was the more serious side of today. Basically today was spent lounging around messing about. & plus Joe came back yay yay yay ;) we hadn't seen him since like september ?! and so today i got my long overdue dose of ugly ;) haha. It was quite amusing because our original plan was to spend the day at Tiffs after reviews were out of the way. We thought this would be possible because Tiffs review was at 9ish and mine was at 11. Tiff was fine - it all went to plan. I went in at 20 to 2. Yes you read right. 1:35! thats sooo many hours later haha. and so i didnt get out until like 3ish. And so we couldn't spend the 'day' at tiffs. We went to hers for about an hour and in that hour we amused ourselves by watching funny x factor auditions on Youtube tickling eachother and crazy antics such as Annis being pushed off the bed by Joe, to cut her leg and draw blood. Yummy ;) Joe then gave us a lift back to College where we grabbed my shit load of art stuff and got picked up by my mum. On the drive home we almost crashed into a stupid stupid crazy motor cyclist coming the other way, who thought it would be fun to overtake some cars on a turn in the pouring rain/darkness which ended up with him almost skidding into the front of our car. After getting over the shock of almost being killed, we proceeded our journey home taking a detour to Tesco, so my mum could buy some lemonade and i blagged a magazine and a prawn pasta thing (which had a hair in it) Tesco food is shit. And so that brings me to being sat here right now...

It feels like today has gone on forever and its raining outside. And so i plan to sit around this evening, read my magazine, and maybe do a little work :)
Cool.

note to self ; :D :D :D

MY IPOD IS FIXED :) !!
I LOVE LIFE.

hahahaha

im sooo gay ;)

note to self ; :( :( :(

TODAY MY IPOD STOPPED WORKING ! :'( !
i think its the worse thing thats ever happened to me. haha well it isn't.
but i LOVE my ipod ! infact, i NEED my ipod. Today, i hate life :(

note to self ; you successfully completed your too do list.

Yes thats right folks. Out of the all of the 'to dos' that i wrote down earlier, i have completed all of them !
YES GET INNNN !

thats the first time EVER that i have EVER completed a to do list. Like EVER. Notice just how excited i am about this. Also, if you see me around - i think you should shower me with praise.
Anywayyy...

so i went to town with Annis, and bought my stepmum a £15 voucher for next :) note - i have never bought my stepmum a card of present before (this makes me sound like such a bad person [which i am ;)] but, i genuinely forget ever year ! ) and so this in itself, me remembering, is actually quite an achievement :) I just have to remember to post it on time. hahaha so wish me luck on that one my friends.
After Next Annis bought some really nice shoes, went to the bank and so i sat in the uncomfy big square chair, and suddenly thought 'shiiiit, did i lock my front door' and so for 5 minutes me and annis were trying to convince me that i had infact locked me door. (Later to find that i had)
THEN... next stop on my to do list was the post office to post '24' and so some funky old biddy called Jayne will soon be receiving my 24 dvd. WICKED.

After that, we wandered on down to the cinema to see if you booked tickets in there on a machine, you cant. Howev we did pick up a 'DIDCOT FILM TIMES' leaflet and we decided to take advantage of orange wednesdays and do see 'the fourth kind' tonight. Which looks soo good. Scary too. And so we wandered home after arranging to meet later on and talking about how the bin outside my house is full up AGAIN. this is an on going thing me and Annis have, because the bin is hardly ever emptied, and on saturday - when we were drunkly walking to laurens, we noticed it had been emptied and almost died of shock. Annis took a photo (the tramp) but yeah anyway, its full again ! i mean, whaaaat ?! its an alley way that no one ever walks down, why is it full of stuff, last time it had an empty scooter box in it. What sort of legend walks down an alleyway (not near shops) and randomly decides to open a boxed up scooter there and then ? Lol, i realise im talking about a bin. You love me. Moving on...

I came home and did LOADS of work. I mean loads. Almost liiiike 5 a3 pages full. And i sorted it out my big folders and was like 'wow, i dont remember doing this !' so turns out i've got fuck loads of work for my portfolio. nooooice ! :)

Annis just arrived

GOOD MOOD JUDE BYEEEE !

note to self ; your to do list for today.

So i'm well bored ! Annis is coming over in half an hour and we're going to town because we have things to post haha.

So basically i've been up for like 3 hours. & all i've done is made my bed, showered and eaten a bowl of cookie crisp. Thats like one thing every hour ? haaa.
I have things to do today and i easily could've done them all in those 3 hours, but whatevv ;)

Jazz you need to : -

• Buy Tracy a Gift Voucher and a card.
• Post '24'
  
• Crack out the A1 portfolio to sort it out for friday.
  
• Do Photography work for tomorrow.
  

Hopefully i can get that done today. That way i will feel as though today has been fulfilled to the max ;)

Also, the soundtrack of today consists of this song...



Im obsessed :)

note to self ; buy Tracy a voucher from Next tomorrow.

Today has been such an odd day, its felt like i've been completely ignoring everything around me. This morning i left my house and i actually screamed when a cat walked past my legs. I dont even know why ? I also kept walking into doors today. I didn't reply to Greg when he said hey to me this morning i just didn't even realize who it was i was too busy noticing that he was eating an apple (i really don't know why), and i kept dropping things on the floor. I also forgot to eat. Like completely forgot. I had a back of crisps, but i dropped some of them ha.
Although it just wasn't my day. I did get a lot done.
I managed to write my first draft of my personal statement. And when i went into town after college, I bought my mums Christmas presents and got a few bits for my stepdad and Jack :) && i got an envelope to post '24' in tomorrow :)
Also Laurens birthday present arrived in the post today... and i want to keep it XD haha. but i wont :) because i am a good friend ! ;)

Thats all i've really got to say today. Sorry :) SEE YA LATER ALLIGATOR!

note to self ; you need to buy an envelope to post '24' in.

Today i'm ill. I was up all night with sickness and in so much pain from my ovaries. It wasn't fun. Especially seeing as i was really tired ! & so today i had no energy to go into college, or work. I phoned work and told them i had to stay late at college because they always seem to get funny when i say that i'm ill. Which i think is just mean because then it makes me feel bad for feeling ill, and thats not right at all. So yeah, i lied today.

So i slept until half 11. Then wandered downstairs and sat with my mum until now. She showed me what she'd bought people in town to give them for christmas and then we sat looking online for more things to buy people. I bought my brother some really cool ipod speakers that were only £20 for his birthday because thats coming up soon, and my mum bought him a book called 'Wheres Bin Laden' which i've seen before and its like a version of Wheres Wally, but Bin Laden. obviously. And she also bought my stepdad a camera. I then proceeded to spend the next 2 hours looking online for other bits and bobs to buy people and had many laughs at some of the t-shirts that i came across on 'www.tshirthell.com'. Some of them are so horrible but i couldn't help but laugh. I also decided to transfer the last £100 from my savings into my normal account and start buying christmas gifts.. i figured if i bought as many as i could before i get paid, then that'll mean more money for me out of my wage packet this month. I believe this is a good plan. I just hope i can find more fun stuff to buy people. Im thinking i'll buy night at the museum 2 on dvd, for my brother, i know, so far it only sounds like i know what im getting my brother. This is in fact, a true statement. I have no idea what to get anybody else yet. Oh also, my mums getting 'monsters vs aliens' for my younger younger brother, which im really excited about because it means i can watch it christmas day. Geeez sooo many brothers ;) I love that i don't just put their names, but maybe then all you blog readers would get confused... Okay so for future reference, my younger younger brother is Luke, my brother is Jack, my younger sister is Emily who is Lukes twin. And my younger younger sister - Martha, is one in december and is my sister from another mother sharing the same father. Ha and thats my family tree in a nutshell ;) Which reminds me, what the hell am i going to get my dad, my stepmum and martha ? Damn liiiife ! Also - what do you get someone for there first ever birthday ? Its not like i can ask her, she doesn't speak yet.

I'm getting the feeling that this blog could go on forever because today i've been forever pondering about christmas and people and gifts and money. Its Laurens birthday on friday - gift is being posted as i type/you read. Its then my stepmums birthday on the 19th. Crap. Thats soon. (note to self - buy card). After that its Marthas 1st birthday on the 17th of December, its Jacks birthday on the 18th. Its then Hayleys birthday on the 24th and then its christmas day. It somehow feels like im running out of time to buy gifts ? Ha. And i've probably forgotten about someone ?

I'll leave it at that I think and do some more online hunting of gifts :) XO

note to self ; i suppose you need to make a christmas list so you have an answer when your family asks you what you want.

So yesterday was alriiiight, i had work for 5 hours in the morning, which was boring, but i spose it was entertaining listening to Rachel's insane stories of what she got up to the night before at Grove fireworks.

I came home, sat around for a while doing nothing. And then my family went out to watch fireworks at Glympton (the place where we're hopefully moving to in May). And so i was sat on my bed in an empty house thinkiiiing umm, why am i not taking advantage of the fact that i have an empty house for a few hours ? So i got Annis over and we went up to the little shop for some vodka and fanta fruit twist, an hour later we were pretty drunk because we'd stupidly had no food that day. So after we had had a 'party' at mine haha, we strolled on over to Laurens to see her and Chris, which was really funny, we had more of our vodka at hers and were just complete fools whilst waiting for Chris to shower. Then we waddled up to Sainsburys for more alcoholic treats before walking up to Hayleys. We walked pretty fast up to Hayleys - i dont know why. And so when we got there she had her little fire set up in her garden with cushions and bags of marshmellows and marshmellows sticks. And so we all sat around that for all of 10 minutes before it started 'raining' it dripped a few times and then stopped haha. But in the time it had started and stopped we'd come inside got comfy on her sofas with haribo and crisps and a bit of supernatural on the tv. Which is really good btw. However i became so tired that i actually almost fell asleep whilst cuddling up to Hayley haha. Im SUCH a lesbian ;)
We all left at 11 because her mum was coming home and we were all SO tired. It was a really odd experience because in my mind i thought i'd be really awake all night but i was sooo ready for bed at like half 10 haha. So me and Annis walked home, she got cheesey chips which i blagged a few of and then we went home and i crawled straight into bed. I suppose by the time i got home it was about 12.

During the night however whilst i slept, i must've scratched my eczema covered skin pretty badly because when i woke up this morning my skin was burning :( Its getting worse, and no amount of cream will make it go away. Its upsetting me quite a bit really :/

I think my plans for the rest of the day are to watch yesterdays x factor on iplayer and do some work, i should probably do my work for the bauhaus project but i just know i'll end up doing more bird drawings haha. Bye for now.

note to self ; you need to pay £7 to college by next week.

Today has been really good :)
Well, not gunna lie, i was in such a horrible mood this morning, upset and angry for no reason, and people were just making it worse haha, i wanted to punch everyone :)
But the project we got given today was really good, we have to produce little illustrations of birds in different ways using different medias and end up making a sketchbook full of them :)
Its really quite fun !

I got told today that i have to take in all my work from last year and so far this year in on next friday to start putting together a portfolio, i dread to think what sort of state all my work is in inside my A1 folder - hopefully not all of is crushed up :/

Ahhh my eczema is really bad at the moment :( Its all over my skin and its doing my head in ! Making me feel horrible as well ! I swear its always worse in the mornings and at night, i think it was partly why i was so pissed off this morning - its doing my head in. and the cream im using isn't working :( daaaamn !

But nothing else has really happened today, it rained a lot ? Annis went home at lunch because she was 'ill' wink wink nudge nudge. haha naaah she has got a cold. :) So i was left to get the bus home alone, i was stood at the bus stop on my own for a little while getting really really angry with the annoying bunch of people who wont shut up singing, and being twats basically. Until... i noticed remi also standing alone haha, it was almost like we noticed eachother at the same time and so walked towards eachother liiiike helllllppp haha ! It was really really nice sitting with him on the bus home and just chatting to eachother, i haven't actually held much of a conversation with him before tonight so it was nice :)

Fireworks tomorrow, which reminds me, i need to text hayley.

BYE !

note to self ; welldone.

I've managed to keep my room tidying for a full 4 days now. And i am sadly so proud of myself because this includes making my bed each morning. I actually think i made Annis speechless earlier when i told her.
Also, someone bought my boxset of 24 that i was selling on ebay for a tenner today :) so scoorrrre. I might see if i can find more things to increase the amount in my bank account, its at a low of £18 at the moment, and i get paid in 3 weeks :(
Some fat woman is outside shouting to some man who is trying to reverse, they almost hit our car. Her voice is terrible :( her appearance is worse. (im such a mean person, but if you saw some of the people that live in my close, you'd completely understand the need for an interruption in blogging)

Meanwhile.... ;)
Yesterday was my day off college, and i worked, and it was slow, well actually it wasn't but at the same time it was? Hmm how to explain ? Well, it was one of those days where it takes a long time for hours to pass but you're not really that bothered to notice because your mind is elsewhere ? Yes, it was like that. haha. Saying that though, im not entirely sure as to where my mind was ? But it was a good thing it was elsewhere because it meant that my mind completely blanked the christmas songs. Yes folks, Claires Accessories has started to play christmas songs. Its sooo tacky. The worse one is silent night. Because its a really slow version. Slower than the original slow version. Can you imagine how painful that is ?

Today i went into college and actually did loads of work. I even stayed during lunch and for a few hours afterwards even though our teacher wasn't there to give us our new illustration project. It was weird. I think im actually becoming slightly more organized and better at getting things done. & its freaking me out how well im doing at this new change im forcing upon myself ;) hahah.

Tonight Lauren is meant to be coming over for quiche and sausage roll (our meal we've had for years when we're together) but, she has no mobile, and as far as im aware, i was meant to ring her house phone just before quarter to 6 and we were meant to wander on down and get some food, however, i've just conversed with her younger sister, and apparently, lauren wont be home for me to ring until 10 to 6 and she thinks we're meeting at the station ?! So in my mind im like - UMMM DILEMMA ! Of course i'd completely understand if this was the plan we'd agreed on last night, but it soooo isn't. Damn her for losing her phone and making life difficult ;)
Oh well, im sure i'll find out before 7 where i was meant to be and at what time. Ah well :)

Toodles.

note to self ; you had less money in your account today than you thought. so.. STOP SPENDING MONEY FOOL

Hahaha, so today i've basically been going on and on at myself to make the right decisions and believe it or not, so far its gone quite well. I kept drumming 'do your work and ring your driving instructor and book a tour' into my head all day. I did two of the above, and i didnt book a tour because turns out they dont let you see the accomodation, which is a bit crap seeing as i've missed the open days that chester did. OH WELL :)

I also rung my driving instructor earlier because im pretty sure that shes not teaching me right, and from the conversation i had with Annis earlier about her driving instructor, i was right in thinking that she was a weirdo, but anyway, i rung her, and told her i couldn't make tomorrows lesson and she got all weird on me saying that she needed 24 hours notice, in which i really wanted to reply about the fact that she hasnt been on time to any of my lessons and last week she was half an hour late. And then she said she would ring me back 'in a bit' because she had to pop out - Its been 3 hours. Im just going to assume that shes not going to turn up tomorrow, and if she does? Well shes a faggot. Because i clearly said i couldn't have a driving lesson tomorrow.

Its my day off college tomorrow and i put myself down to work 12-6 yesterday because i REALLY need the money !
Im also quite worried about how Annis will react about something i've just seen on facebook, because shes all pissed off at life and upset at the moment. So this will not help.
I've also just looked at the time to see that im missing tomorrows hollyoaks, ah well. I think now im just talking crap ? So i might just go. Turn the tv on in time for haaaaave you met ted ;) (L) and think about typing up what i've got for my personal statement so far.

byebyebyebye

note to self ; Get an early night.

Im so tired ! It feels like i never get enough sleep these days, even though im pretty sure that i've been getting the same amount of sleep as i always have done. Maybe my life is just busier ?

Back to college today after half term, why is that it always feels like you've never been away ? Plus Yaz came back to Abingdon from Witney, she went there because it was closer to her home and so she was there from the start of this year... my point is that it feels like she was never away as well.
I actually got straight into my work today because i dont want to find myself as behind with this terms work as i was with the last. I also decided when i was at work, that i was going to become more organized, and actually get stuff done when it needs to be done. Because im a sucker for just getting home and sitting on my ass on my laptop. And so today i tidied my room and filed away all my university bits and bobs. Note - my room is tidy... this never happens. I also made my lunch for tomorrow because i want to save money. I swear i easily spend over a tenner on food each week and how bad is that ?! So yeeah that was something i achieved haha. Oh another thing i achieved today was the fact that there was a really nice bag that came in the delivery at work today and i soo wanted to buy it, i put all my things in it and everything. Then it got to about 5 minutes before closing and i was like NO YOU HAVE NO MONEY PUT IT BACK JAZZ PUT IT BACK ! haha and so that was my day in a nutshell. Im feeling alot better today. Even though he keeps on saying that i should just forgive and except that it happened. Pfft bastard. :(

Oh also, walked into work today to find that all our christmas stock has started coming in, and our soundsystem is now playing christmas songs. oh the shame :( And they're not good, silent night played. How awful ! haha

Im going to go make a cup of tea :) ciao

note to self ; nope, nothing to note down.

So im not in the best of moods. I feel crushed, empty, and hurt.
But i'll put those feelings to one side for a second, because before last night, i was feeling great. And so i don't want my mood now to destroy the description of the past two days, because they've been quite good :)

First off, i dont think i did anything friday, i worked, but i dont think i had plans for the evening ? Probably just sat around. Saturday I went to Solent University for the open day. I was a little disappointed, but it was an okay day. I went with my stepdad because my mum was ill :/ and the uni was alright, the course talk and the studio space wasn't so good. I thought the woman that teaches on the fine art course that i went to look at was a bit weird. & she kept laughing at me because i was carrying a witches broom. Yes. Jokes were made about how that must've been how i'd arrived. Want to be remembered as a first impression ? Carry around a broomstick. The reason i had the broomstick was because seeing as after we'd seen the halls of residence we had like 3 hours to kill and so we went into town. and oh myyyyy there are so many shops and malls and places full of treats and gifts and items that i wanted :( it was depressing (due to my lack of pennies) but also quite amazing :) And was at this time that we purchased the broom, for my little sister to dress up with for halloween :)
Which brings me onto my next point. ANNIS' HALLOWEEN PARTY WAS SOOO MUCH FUN !
It started with me going round hayleys to get ready with her, so i arrived, followed by Matt, who i answered the door too and got the shock of my liiife haha. He was dressed up as the joker, and he looked fucking awesome ! Then lauren arrived dressed up as a vampire woman thing with a freaky black wig, which she was really proud of because she'd cut a fringe into it haha !
From there we went to Annis' and consumed alot of alcohol through drinking games and just general sipping of the cider and vodka and spirits and wine and everything else that was at hand. So after a few hours at hers, taking photos, singing & dancing, sitting on bathroom floors, creating a seating area of smokers outside and chatting, plus other people turning up and being invited, we decided to gate crash at Jade O'deils ( an old friend from school ) and it was alot of fun ! Her mum is bloody insane, everyone was dressed up and there was drink everywhere, people dancing, in the garden they had a little fire thing going and sweets and things. It was all so wicked. However the night came to an end for me at around 12 because someone informed me of something that made me cripple over in pain and cry my eyes out for about an hour. Which wasn't fun at all. All im gunna say about it is, i've never felt so much emotional pain in all my life and i hope i never have to feel like that ever again. I wandered home in the end, because i soon became exhausted from crying in Annis' arms haha. I woke up this morning in just my underwear, laying on a bag chocolate and smelling like a bonfire. My initial thoughts were - 'why am i wearing no clothes?' 'whose chocolate is this?' and 'why do i smell like a bonfire' and the only one i was able to answer was smelling like a bonfire because of the fire that jade had at her party. I was surprisingly not that hungover and so i got up at 12, got dressed, and went over to Dannys to finish my cds. 3/3 complete. Good Times.