note to self ; please use this quiet weekend wisely and do your work.

Im currently sat on my bedroom floor with a powerade and a bag of sweets by my side. Im having a night in tonight, which wouldn't be so bad if it didnt suck to know that most of my friends are going out tonight and doing things. However this is my own choice. Because I've been so tired this week and i need to catch up on work. & im not feeling in a very 'people person' mood today.

Today when my mum was driving me and Annis to college this morning, she turned to me and goes - today feels like a weird day doesn't it? and i was like in a good way or bad way, she said bad. I then got this sudden feeling that today would be disappointing, i said this to her.

At half 12 when i went back to the car to meet her, i greeted her with -'i was right this morning, i stand here now disappointed' I wont go into the reasons of why, because there's no use in crying over spilt milk, but today was just one of those days.

We went into Didcot town on the way back and i bought lots of sweets and some other bits and bobs that i was in desperate need of, ie. Annis' Gift. (haha oops)

And having such a bad morning got me thinking about why things dont go right for me most of the time. & i was trying to work out whether it was because i always expect it to go wrong ?

Don't get me wrong im not complaining about my life, because i bloody love it and have so much fun all of the time. But like when i really want something, and i try really hard at gaining that something, it always goes wrong/doesnt happen. ever. I describe my luck like this - Imagine your using superglue to fix something, and you're being really careful not to get it on yourself. Well i'm the sort of person who will get to almost the end of the task and somehow manage to stick my hands together. I then begin to think - why fucking bother being careful. God hates me. This WILL happen. And i mean this with all the small things in life that i try and do good at. And also the way i see things going in my head is always the complete opposite of how they happen in real life. Maybe if i start to think of shit things, good things will happen. doubtful.

I've been rambling on about nothing really. I'll stop clearing my head of thoughts, and write about the facts of today..

+ Dear everyone who has already had their first cerivical cancer jab and thought it really hurt,

you pussy's.

(saying this though, now, knowing my luck i'll wake up tomorrow to find my arm has fallen off)

+ The one thing i did get right today, i got out of the car and was like 'OHHH WHAT IF MY CD HAS COME' i opened my front door and was like ' OHHH MY CD HAS COME'

(this made me extremely happy)

thinking about it, thats all that has happened today.

Oh i did have this one thought in the car as i was waiting for my mum to get the twins from school. I wondered what i would do if someone opened the drivers side door and jumped in and drove away with me. I was thinking - i could kick them out of the door (as we sped wildly down the road obvs ;) ) and because i kinda know the basics of driving now, i would be able to take control of the wheel and drive home.

Yes, i did have this thought. And yes, i need to get a life.

pahahaha.

i now think its got to the point where i'm trying to write more to prevent having to go and start some work.

GO DO SOME WORK FOOL.

;)